along comes a little joy.

I don't know if I told you that I cut my hair while I was in Chicago for the Haas/Panzar wedding! 

Ok, so don't anyone that's reading this freak out. For if you stay with me for as long as it's going to take to grow this beast of a head of hair out, bless you...because along the way, it's going to have to get cut and sometimes like in life, that hurts. 

What is she rambling about this time?

I am trying to start a blog about the joys of time and waiting, like I talked about in my last post. 

About 4 weeks ago, I trimmed my top layer and my bangs. And this is a picture of the day I cut my hair. 

Sad to report, that was the only day where it looked GREAT. After that, since then, not. so. hot. 

Ok, so fast forward 4 weeks. I have been patiently wearing it half up or curly a lot or in a short ponytail with a bump and it has been really, as my friend Quinn puts it, my hair is always, all of the time, "A HOT MESS." And then, I woke up today and decided to wash it, dry it straight and see what was under the hot mess. And behold...it wasn't as bad as I thought. It actually looks pretty darn good. It's getting longer...and looks longer. Even though it feels like it's SO much shorter. I think I cut a lot off when I was hacking away at it in Chicago and didn't realize what I may have done. My mini shag is back. I'm not sure this is where I wanted to go from here, but it does help with the process of growth. There is still a lot to play with in front. Long choppy layers and what not, but a lot more health and a free ounce of patience that I didn't ask for. That's what happens along the way. You wait and wait and wait and pout and scream and dream and then one day...poof along comes a little joy.

In a time of my life where so much is corresponding to my hair...I am overcome by the parable of a little joy today.

As I turned on the news this morning to watch the devastation we call life, jk, I was overcome with sadness. This continued into my day as I ran out of time waxing my legs and only could do one(right, picture that insanity). Again, I was sad when I climbed into my truck to find the inside windshield wet with dew. And lastly, a friend's mom died today. :( boo

There has been a lot of sadness in my life the last 6 weeks. Starting with H's death and continuing through with crappy morning. There have been days lately where I felt like the gloom cloud was going to swallow me whole. 

Then, 

along comes a little joy. 

My little joy or joys have been this list lately.

* fresh strawberries and stir fry

* Tess: the amazing bubble of joy I work next to at the spa.

* waxing my armpits (sorry if that's tmi, but it is amazing if you haven't tried it, and you hate shaving everyday, you will LOVE it, I promise!!!)

* on my ownness

* Buck grabbing my bootay, a lot

* a cupcake 

* living in it, instead of pulling out. 

* GOD and I's conversations.

* Dreaming again 

This list may not seem long or exhaustive to you, but it's complete enough for me. And it's when you are just about to say, you know what...life sucks and this isn't worth it and why do I even try and what good is this doing and the    why's keep getting bigger and will it ever end and on and on and on...

along comes a little joy

to make you believe again. to help you take a hold of what you want again. and it grabs at your heart strings and plays a concerto. It shakes your insides like liquid smoothie. 

And for one second you breathe a little easier.

perhaps even for a minute.

an hour? 

With this joy, lately, it has brought me relief. With my hair and with my heart.

A couple of pics after an 8 hour work day.