to keep on keeping on...

take care.
that's todays post.
to keep on keeping on a path that doesn't seem to be going anywhere some days, one has to STOP and take care of what needs to be taken care of. The basics.
In growing ones hair out that means...using a good shampoo and conditioner. Getting a deep conditioning treatment. Coloring ones roots.
I did all three this last 2 weeks. I went to the beauty supply chain and bought great shampoo and conditioner. I colored my very bleached out blond craziness to a beautiful red brown. I got an Awapuhi treatment done and will continue to maintain it with the new shampoo and conditioner.
It truly is amazing what these little steps can do for your hair.

For the soul, the body, the mind we must do these things as well. To grow we cannot remain static, but there are times where we must take a time out to do soul care. A mental health day.
Pamper your soul.
WHAT DOES THIS MEAN KRISTEN?
Well, it means figure out what that means to you.
For me, I find myself nurtured in nature. Sunshine. Water. Seasons changing.
I know that a good cry can cleanse my soul opening it up to health and growth and change.
Positive reinforcement: A great deep conditioning treatment. Finding a new quote to help you nourish your soul, your mind, your heart.
Find a new hobby. Painting often does this for me. Or card making. Because I'm giving in the midst.
Find a place to give of yourself. I'm going to start volunteering at a local women's shelter. Offering pedis or foot rubs or a spa day or hair cuts. I can't wait!
So, friends, fans, family...keep on keeping on. Take care of your hair! Take care of your soul. Growth is right around the corner. It always is!!!

along comes a little joy.

I don't know if I told you that I cut my hair while I was in Chicago for the Haas/Panzar wedding! 

Ok, so don't anyone that's reading this freak out. For if you stay with me for as long as it's going to take to grow this beast of a head of hair out, bless you...because along the way, it's going to have to get cut and sometimes like in life, that hurts. 

What is she rambling about this time?

I am trying to start a blog about the joys of time and waiting, like I talked about in my last post. 

About 4 weeks ago, I trimmed my top layer and my bangs. And this is a picture of the day I cut my hair. 

Sad to report, that was the only day where it looked GREAT. After that, since then, not. so. hot. 

Ok, so fast forward 4 weeks. I have been patiently wearing it half up or curly a lot or in a short ponytail with a bump and it has been really, as my friend Quinn puts it, my hair is always, all of the time, "A HOT MESS." And then, I woke up today and decided to wash it, dry it straight and see what was under the hot mess. And behold...it wasn't as bad as I thought. It actually looks pretty darn good. It's getting longer...and looks longer. Even though it feels like it's SO much shorter. I think I cut a lot off when I was hacking away at it in Chicago and didn't realize what I may have done. My mini shag is back. I'm not sure this is where I wanted to go from here, but it does help with the process of growth. There is still a lot to play with in front. Long choppy layers and what not, but a lot more health and a free ounce of patience that I didn't ask for. That's what happens along the way. You wait and wait and wait and pout and scream and dream and then one day...poof along comes a little joy.

In a time of my life where so much is corresponding to my hair...I am overcome by the parable of a little joy today.

As I turned on the news this morning to watch the devastation we call life, jk, I was overcome with sadness. This continued into my day as I ran out of time waxing my legs and only could do one(right, picture that insanity). Again, I was sad when I climbed into my truck to find the inside windshield wet with dew. And lastly, a friend's mom died today. :( boo

There has been a lot of sadness in my life the last 6 weeks. Starting with H's death and continuing through with crappy morning. There have been days lately where I felt like the gloom cloud was going to swallow me whole. 

Then, 

along comes a little joy. 

My little joy or joys have been this list lately.

* fresh strawberries and stir fry

* Tess: the amazing bubble of joy I work next to at the spa.

* waxing my armpits (sorry if that's tmi, but it is amazing if you haven't tried it, and you hate shaving everyday, you will LOVE it, I promise!!!)

* on my ownness

* Buck grabbing my bootay, a lot

* a cupcake 

* living in it, instead of pulling out. 

* GOD and I's conversations.

* Dreaming again 

This list may not seem long or exhaustive to you, but it's complete enough for me. And it's when you are just about to say, you know what...life sucks and this isn't worth it and why do I even try and what good is this doing and the    why's keep getting bigger and will it ever end and on and on and on...

along comes a little joy

to make you believe again. to help you take a hold of what you want again. and it grabs at your heart strings and plays a concerto. It shakes your insides like liquid smoothie. 

And for one second you breathe a little easier.

perhaps even for a minute.

an hour? 

With this joy, lately, it has brought me relief. With my hair and with my heart.

A couple of pics after an 8 hour work day.

patience with my hair...

Oh, and it's the same right now with my hair. I want to cut it. But thank goodness, patience comes in many forms. Clean up my layers, wear it pulled back a lot. Often. Almost every day. And sometimes this is what it takes. Patience in learning...growing. Teaching yourself things to help you get through. To the next part. Because lately, my patience is running super thin. Do I bleach it? Do I color it? What would keep it the healthiest for the grow out process...so many things coming into play now a days. And not just with my hair.
Lately, in my life this has taken on a waiting period. But there is movement even in the waiting. There is growth that happens when we pull it back and take care of our hair, our lives. In the patience stage where it takes everything not to cut. it. all. off.
Yesterday I was cleaning my house. The entire house. And I came upon not one, but two pair of clippers. Like mens barber shop clippers. And I thought to myself not once, but twice(I think you see the image now)
"you could totally shave it all off Kristen."
And the second time I even picked up the clipper and really considered it. It would be like beginning again. A totally fresh palette. A new beginning spot. The idea is great, but there are things at play here that wouldn't really help with this conceptual dream of mine.
#1). I have gray hair. So, even if I shaved it off to the point of like a "1" or a "2" which is SUPER short...the gray would still be there. And this is not a clean palette.
#2). A means to an end. I think not. THIS IDEA IS NOTHING WHAT I WANT.

So, I quickly learned a lesson in that strange avant garde moment...keep my eyes on the prize. The goal is long hair. The avenue...I don't know yet really how.
Back to my house cleaning...
I was reminded on a lesson I learned this summer. Or should I say relearned or put into practice. Surround yourself with things that will remind you of your wants, your goals.
I want long hair. Tomorrow I am going to make a poster of girls with long hair like I want.
I am also going to decorate my art room and make it a place I want to hang out. If this means spending a little cash, so be it.
Growing takes time...LOL
yes it does.  

what's the name of your blog?

So as I listen to a song this morning...I am contemplating on the exact name of my blog: Growing takes time.
I am experiencing a period of frustration in growth right now. It's partly because my patience runs thin with myself in grief. So often we want to move out of what seems bad, hard, sad and move on towards good feelings. I want to "feel" better.
Last week I lost a very dear and close friend to me. I had the privilege and honor of mentoring her. In that unique relationship, I not only shared my knowledge, but constantly learned new things about  myself, life, love, and others. Heather changed my life for the better, for good.
But, I was challenged by my close friend Brooke, to really mourn well. To take the time to cry and wear black and feel sad or angry. And I feel like part of that happened, but I don't want to rush it. The feeling better part that is.  Because there is something to be learned in the moments of grief. Growth can take place in any area of our life, in any situation, in any circumstance, IF WE LET IT.
I spoke to my friend Justin this morning about realigning our feelings with the truth. That thoughts are And again, I wonder, what does it look like to have a pure and real emotional response? One that's aligned with the truth and to remain in it for the time it needs to be remained in? I feel like that happened.
and again, I say it to myself, growing takes time. I know people struggle with grief. I struggle with grief. We weren't taught how to grieve well. Mourn. So, I am taking time and giving myself time to grow in this area.
What say you?

Heather Lynn Parman

This day some super sad news came my way.

and I am broken hearted about it.

So much so that I don't want to go to bed.

I want to stay up and not believe it happened.

I keep checking fb to see if it's all a lie.

I know it's not.

I know it's for real.

I talked to Jill.

My H. My mentee. Pamento. HP. the joy of one woman.

she lit up a room. there's no way around it. She is home. 

This is how I would like to have my hair look as it grows out. I think it's adorable and although my face isn't as long as hers, as it continues to get skinnier i twill do well with my face shape. If I do say so in my professional opinion. Speaking of my professional opinion, I love that part of my job. The moment when I get to share with someone what I know. And not because I am all knowing or it kicks my ego into high gear, but simply because I have knowledge to share that can possibly help you.
There is a lesson to be learned here that I would like to point out today. Remember that you are always in a learning opportunity. Honestly I try with all of my might to view every opportunity as a learning one, but sometimes my own pride can get in the way. Get rid of pride when learning. It does nothing but hinder you.
 lesson: BE A SPONGE NOT A ROCK
*side story: The summer of 1997 I worked at a sports camp in Western PA, which ironically is where I am living currently. One day during a pep talk I heard this story and I have never forgotten it.

Visual aid: a bucket of water, a sponge and a rock
The bucket is opportunity. It can be empty or full of water. Water symbolizes wisdom.
Drop in the rock, it may make a big splash, but once you take it out, it's still only a rock. Nothing has transformed the rock. The wisdom, drips right off. Drop in the sponge and watch what happens. It changes shape. It soaks up the water. When you take the sponge out, it can be rung out and shared with others everywhere.
simple story all to say...be a sponge people.
To be a sponge, one has to remove pride, and remain humble. My mentor defines humility as a right view of oneself. And that is the topic for tomorrow...
enjoy "spongehood"
 

Hello

This blog will be dedicated to me growing my hair out as well as the combination of what I'm learning...ie:growth.
I like it and I hope you will too!
Here's where it all began...
I decided to grow my hair long again. It's been almost 2 years since I cut it short and I'm ready to try and grow it out again.
Here is a picture of today.

the bottom is shoulder length and the top is about 3-4 inches long with my bangs at the bottom of my lip.

Today we are focusing on growth in the facet of where you came from, where you are going.
Here's a list of questions I'm going to use when looking at last year. I include God in my journey but the questions are able to be answered even if you find yourself not in a place of believing in God.

What were five places (experiences, relationships, moments in time) when you felt most alive with God this year?

What were five places (experiences, relationships, moments in time) when you felt most distant from God this year?

What did you read (books, blogs, devotionals, quotes) that helped you sense God’s presence in new ways, helped reframe a situation or leader you to better questions?

What pieces of scripture or literature were influential to your growth this year?

What people were influential in your growth this year?

What new questions are you asking yourself?  What questions are still lingering?

What experiences have you been able to “name” or “reframe” that have helped you being working through a valley in your life?

What experiences have you been able to share with a listening partner that have allowed you to take the next step of growth or healing?

What are some new things that you would like to try in the new year?

Based on what you learned this year, what new relationships would you like to seek out, what boundaries around current relationships need to be established or what relationships need to be let go?

What are some things you would like to leave behind from this last year?

How are you learning to live in the present moment in new ways?

How are you keeping a learning posture by reviewing your day, week, year?

What would you like to pull forward into the new year?

What other questions will help you “review your year?”

Please, as always, feel free to post your thoughts or what you have learned.